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<title>no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin by takenbadgering</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25750456">no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/takenbadgering/pseuds/takenbadgering'>takenbadgering</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drabble, Explicit Language, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Gentleness, Happy Ending, Hate Speech, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired by a Hozier Song, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, Introspection, M/M, Making Out, Marriage Proposal, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pet Names, Protective Sokka (Avatar), Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Slurs, Suki &amp; Zuko (Avatar) Friendship, Tenderness, Trans Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar)-centric, ambiguous setting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:48:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,079</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25750456</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/takenbadgering/pseuds/takenbadgering</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In moments of tender love, he can't get their horrible words out of his head.<br/>But he's healing. He's getting better.<br/>-<br/>title: Take Me To Church by Hozier</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>245</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Trigger Warning: explicit hate speech:<br/>→ lgbtq slurs (f slur, q slur, etc)<br/>→ strong homophobia and transphobia</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>Words of hate muddle his thoughts in moments like these. He can’t help it, really. Growing up so entrenched in the vile words of others, he’s still not quite used to all of this new <em> acceptance </em>. </p><p>Lips on lips and hands on hips, they’re swaying to slow indie music in their socks in the kitchen. The playlist is shuffled between Hozier, The Paper Kites, Amber Run, and other bands he’s never heard of. But they all have smooth, nostalgic voices that make him smile. </p><p>Keaton Henson's raw voice aside, his mind was still plagued. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (Agni, quit being such a damn queer!  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Stop it.)</em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>( ██████ is such a pretty name! </em> <em>Did you have to change it?  </em></p><p>
  <em>Shut up.)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (You are a smear on this family’s good name. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I didn’t mean to be like this!) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Zuko,” Sokka was staring him in the eye, “You started freaking out suddenly. Can you tell me what’s wrong?”</p><p>But his chest felt tight. He hadn’t realized Sokka had even pulled back. In fact, Sokka wasn’t touching him anymore. Too focused on the disgust in his mind, he hadn’t noticed that either. A sharp voice in his head pointed out that Sokka was probably disgusted too. </p><p>Zuko shook his head slowly and focused on the blue of his boyfriend’s eyes. “Sorry,” he croaked, voice coming out much raspier than he had expected. </p><p>“Can I touch you?”</p><p>“Please.” He nodded quickly. </p><p>Sokka immediately wrapped his arms around Zuko, who put his head into the crook of his neck. He guided them back to the couch. The music continued to play. “I got you, sweetheart.” </p><p>He melted further into him. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The longer they were together, the less the voices and memories intruded on vulnerable moments. </p><p>But there were still moments of shame and humiliation. </p><p>In the locker room at the gym, when some men give him snide looks when they see the pins on his duffel bag.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (Hey, you better not be looking at my junk in the locker room! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I never was!) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (What’s a chick doing here? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m not a girl!) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zuko keeps his eyes down at all times. </p><p>Whenever he catches an accidental glimpse of another man in his underwear, or nude, he is reminded of how Suki describes her immediate aversion to bra stores—how she feels ridiculously perverted for looking at mannequins with lingerie on. </p><p>It’s the inherent shame from society. He is reminded he’s not alone.  </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Slowly, he notices himself getting better. He has clever rebuttals to the underhanded comments that are sent his way—partially because everyone repeats the same five over and over, partially because he practiced. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (Man up—oh wait! You can’t! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I am a man! I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be, because I have the honor and integrity!<br/>All you have to show your manhood is a pickled Twinkie between your legs!) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (You’re just say you’re a fag because you can’t get it up.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I can get it up! Just not for women because they’re not attractive to me! There’s nothing wrong with that!) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He’s been hated his whole life. </p><p>His grandfather and his father wanted him dead. His sister tried to kill him—though now it was water under the bridge. The Priests of Agni thought he was a curse meant to bring them doom. The kids at his middle school thought he was a fun punching bag to toss around. The kids at his high school thought he was a firecracker meant to be set aflame, laughed at, and then left in his own ash. The teacher at both schools had thought him stupid and incompetent.</p><p>But now, he’s growing used to love. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Sokka stands between his legs, shirtless and his hair is down. It’s not fair for poor Zuko, who is sitting on the edge of the bed, and who is easily flustered. Sokka knows these things too. </p><p>They had been getting ready for bed, both sluggish from a long day at work. Now though, Zuko felt like he was on fire as he reached up to pull Sokka into a kiss. </p><p>“Someone’s eager,” Sokka murmured with a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, before straightening to admire his lover. </p><p>Zuko didn’t really process his words. His mind was stuck on the idea that the man before him, in his full glory, had chosen him over everyone else. Something about Sokka with his hair down always made him short-circuit.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (Agni can help, child. He can fix you.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> There’s nothing to fix. Agni made me this way on purpose.) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (You’re sick. That’s all. A little therapy in the countryside will be good for you! They can fix these sorts of sexual deviance! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m not sick! I am as healthy as I’ve ever been! I<br/>need therapy for the child abuse I endured, not for liking dick or for wanting one for myself!) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sokka’s gaze softened when it met Zuko’s reverent one. “You’re such a sap,” he smiled while leaning back down, guiding Zuko back on the bed. </p><p>Moving around now, he snapped out of it. “Yeah, yeah,” he said as he rolled his eyes, “Shut up.” </p><p>“Mm, no. I don’t think I will.” </p><p>He ran his hands through his boyfriend's bobbed hair. “Bet.” He pulled him down into a kiss. </p><p>Sokka pulled back a moment later, panting a little. “Oh, you’re on, dude!” </p><p>“Nevermind, we’re breaking up. We were just sucking face and you’re seriously going to call me dude?” He scoffed and pushed his shoulder, making Sokka fall on his back next to him. </p><p>He whined. “But, dude, I love you!” </p><p>Zuko rolled over so his back was to Sokka. </p><p>He continued anyway. “Bro, dude, dudebro, I love love you! Like, marriage love! Don’t leave me!” He draped himself over Zuko’s hip dramatically, much like a heartbroken Victorian dandy. </p><p>His eyes snapped to Sokka as he inhaled sharply. “Marriage love?” He whispered. </p><p>At once, Sokka’s whole vibe changed to one of hesitance and hope and honesty. “Well yeah, of course. One day. If it’s okay with you, of course.” </p><p>His chest felt tight. His throat felt thick and clogged. His eyes stung. Giving a slight nod, he spoke. “Yeah, it’s okay with me.” </p><p>Lips on lips, hands on hips, they whispered about possible wedding dates and color palettes with the patter of rain as their playlist. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (Liking men is one thing, kissing them is another, marrying one is unforgivable.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fuck you, dad!) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Needless to say, Ozai wasn’t invited to their bombass wedding.</p><hr/><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i've wanted to write a fic about Zuko using Take Me To Church for *months* now. last night at like, midnight, i said "fck it" and wrote this!</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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